Sketches
My sketches encapsulate moments from my day to day life in combination with moments from the past: to discover what my surrounding has to offer, or in "tribute" of my character. It is a way for me to communicate with my "inner demons".
Narration vs distortion
To visually illuminate stories from the past, abilities of slight maneuver in "distortion" and "amplification" are needed: what aspect of the story is disregarded, and idea could be extracted and enforced better. Like Banjec questioning monuments in locations of ongoing "unresolved" issues, I question the process of narration in completing "storylines".
Revisit rap (Music, video, album)
Revisiting albums like the carter three, la flare, my krazy life made me feel like I was back in Palo Alto, California again. It gives me the "drive" and strength in navigating moments of trauma from childhood.
Rap "rhyme Scheme"
Learning the rhyme scheme of different rappers are significant in my way of verbally expressing my ideas: conscious word choices, meticulous delivery, etc.
Emotive writings: "lyrical" poem, diary, map
"drenched, I picked up my pair of socks and ran towards the bus station; though unsuccessful, I felt the stares from the windows of buses passing through- the cloud gets clawed by claus', without a sliver of effort, it forms a crowd, I am indeed a fraud"
(22/11/2022)
"another day, another fade. My finger nails are dusty, may lord save me from another chase. How come every time I step outside I feel the hate, as if my existence has been a mistake. Just a U turn, as I grip firm, aye yo you changed? I said oh no, I ain't learn nothing yet captain kirk" (23/10/2022)
"never seem to understand why people rush up the escalator- the handles are sweaty, brushers dirty, and even the water dripping from ceiling needs cleansing; though I was disgusted, amazed, I still picked up the burnt cig to throw it in the bin" (08/12/2022)
Writing is a method I exercise to keep myself "cool" and collected. During my writing process, I pick out words or phrases I sense to be off-putting: investigate why they are this way and create more topics to discuss/dig further.
"Questions for Michael"
The set of questions are for the conversation that is held with my twin brother, Michael. They are not ordinary questions: questions that I am afraid to ask as it could do catastrophic damages. It is most direct way to speak to my brother face to face
Reflection
The first series sparks the question about vulnerability in masculinity through investigation of twinhood: how the experiences, moments shared between two very similarly "built" people are different. It focuses around the process of "dialogue" and "recording" conversation- the straightforward method is sparked by my earliest influences in hip hop; thus, granting me an opportunity to do more research on rappers that have had major influences on me. The series also indicates how the process of writing rap lyrics have helped in visualizing thought process. To summarize, "twins" showcases the human instinct in seeking answers: no matter how difficult or long the course of action may be, it would still be worth it when the answers are obtained (the "costly" curiosity of humanity). In relation to the overall research on masculinity, the series provided solid evidence on how my beliefs are formed: rap, childhood trauma, locational relevance, etc. Material wise, the series opened up a gate way in expression: ink, acrylic, and typography; and that is, of course, also influenced by hip hop (montana 300/YG).